Newsletter Report from Satomi Funaki - May 2008
"A Chain of Happiness"
What makes The Tyler Foundation's Shine On Counseling and Support Program so unique? I talk to children and their families casually at their bedside. I don't have a special room or white doctor's coat. They can open up their hearts and throw out their concerns and uneasiness to me in a relaxed way…in contrast to the strict life of being hospitalized. Actually, I was inspired by the cozy atmosphere created by the doctors and nurses and invented this style. Another characteristic of our counseling is that we do not have an appointment system. Since the hospitalized children often have check-ups and treatments, I keep my working style flexible. I'm always ready to respond to children and their families whenever they need me. So far, I have worked with 30 families - a total of 86 people – and most I meet on a regular basis.
When I first meet a family, what I think is most important is to tell the parents "Please do not blame yourself". When parents find their children have cancer, they tend to torture themselves by asking such questions as "Was something wrong with my body?" and "Why didn't I notice my child's cancer sooner?" Because the National Center for Child Health and Development (NCCHD) allows the parents to visit their children 24 hours a day, mothers often ask me, "Should I take care of my child from the moment of rising until bedtime?" They feel guilty about leaving their child alone when they go home. I tell such mothers, "You are already doing great. Please don't work too hard because your child wants to see your happy face -- not a sad or stressed-looking face. "
There is one more noteworthy characteristic of this counseling program. Thanks to the Tyler Foundation, NCCHD is the first hospital in Japan to have a full-time clinical psychologist in the pediatric cancer ward. This working style allows me to attend all conferences with doctors and nurses. That's why I can communicate with children with knowledge of their conditions and treatments. Moreover, by collaborating with medical staff, I can organize questions for the doctors together with children and their families, I can accompany the children when they have check-ups and operations, and I can make contact with a nutritionist or social worker if there is a worry about diet in the hospital or hospital fees. In addition, I can spend time with the children even after they're discharged from hospital when they visit the out-patient clinic. Thus, our program can make children's lives better and their families' lives easier.
Lastly, let me tell you about two children who have recently gone on to a more peaceful place with Shine On Counseling and Support Program. One 3-year-old boy passed away in the arms of his family. He was also together with Christmas drawings that were made by his families and doctors, nurses, and myself. The materials were originally a small gift from the Tyler Foundation and they became a great hand-crafted present 1 week before he passed away.
A 12-year-old boy finished his life after listening to music. I was with him at his bedside. He was very excited about the CDs and told me "I have always wanted to listen to these songs" and he played and played them again. Since I knew his wishes and I knew he was very near the end of his life, the Tyler Foundation could present him with a CD player and his favorite CDs to make his wish come true.
I am always impressed by the endless sparkle of children's lives. I have never heard them whining. They always create new games and enjoy them with doctors, nurses, and child-care specialists in every spare moment. I know they prefer sharing their joy of living with the people around them to dwelling on their illness.
TF will keep supporting children with cancer, their families, and medical staff to create a "chain of happiness" by making children smile. Thank you for reading my report.
(please note that some personal details of children may be changed for privacy reasons)
Satomi Funaki